10 Reasons why you’re full of shit
You follow celebrities
There’s no one out there more full of shit than a celebrity, and you follow them! You watch everything they do, from the music they listen to, to the clubs they break the law in, you know everything about everything, so long as it’s about a celebrity. You make Perez Hilton look like a loser, because YOU are the real know-it-all! And whatever celebrity has an opinion about something you like, you instantly have to agree with them and completely boycott everybody else.
You spend too much time on Facebook
Face it, you’re always on Facebook, and instead of exposing yourself to real world elements like the news, you get your opinion from somebody else; somebody popular who’s just as full of shit as you. “Like this if you agree!” is something you write more than once a day. and you’re always following somebody’s page, like some sort of fan-boy/girl/ lost puppy hoping for a pet.

You can’t speak English
Trying to sway the people around you without the formal ability to properly articulate your words and speak clearly, is a sure way of telling people “Hey, I’m full of shit.”

You spend too much time on your Looks
Just because you spent 200$ on beauty products and spend another 45 minutes using them to both look and smell good, doesn’t mean what you’re going to say to people is going to have any merit. Just people you’ve got big tits, or gel your hair back doesn’t mean people are going to take you seriously. If you think this applies to you, than chances are you too are full of shit. An ugly, unkempt man can get the same results if he knows what he’s talking about.

See Andy Warhol

You don’t listen
You’re the kind of guy (or girl) that has everything you’re about to say already planned out in your head. So obviously you’ll need to blurb it all out as fast as possible. without letting the other person talk. So instead of actually fooling them, you’ve now pissed them off and pushed them away. Bullshitting works a lot better if you work with what’s in front of you, if the other party responds a certain way, react a certain way. Don’t sit there and change the subject like some greasy, arrogant politician. A good ol’ fashion conversation involves interactivity between both parties, why? Because you aren’t both full of shit.

You use keywords to attract attention
You think that because you use words like “the economy” and “anthropology” people will instantly think you know what you’re talking about. Or words like “Shocking”, “Crisis”, “Important”, “Unique”, “Secret” to attract people’s attention. There’s nothing worse than somebody who’s trying to get your attention by shouting things like “You’ll never believe what I just heard!/saw!” just to conclude their sentance with something less exciting as that louder burst of attention grabbing garbage.

You don’t read the news
Look if you go around believing everything you hear then start going around convincing the people around you that, that bullshit is true, you’re full of shit. You need to go out and do your own research on things before you can make up your own mind, or at least formulate a proper opinion. Without actually looking into what you talk about, you are instantly full of shit. Just because you quickly read something online that stated that “Obama was a Woman” with a link to a random source, doesn’t mean you should copy it to your blog and start convincing your friends that “Dr. Charlse B, Anana of the FDA” proved that Obama didn’t have a penis, by swabbing DNA from a cup he left behind at a Starbucks.

You Blog
Bloggers are so full of shit I started doing it myself, I write all sorts of articles, random things, about random things. The internet is full of opinionated people with thousands of followers, spreading their bullshit across the globe, and people just gobble up all this information like they are storing it for later. Hoping that their memory banks would expand and in thus grant them an increased amount of intelligence. Litthe do they know that the brain really kills off the things it doesn’t need, so you’ll forget all that useless crap you never needed, but run the chance at losing memories you did need. Have fun with your life after you spent 30 years doing nothing but blogging about “X amount of ways to do blah” or “Top X things about things.”

You don’t care
You probably just don’t give a shit, about anything, that’s probably your number saying through-out the day. ” I don’t know”, “I don’t care”, “whatever”, it’s these sayings that just go to show everybody how full of shit you truly are. But not giving a shit you throw away all merit your opinion has, since you don’t know, or don’t care, somebody else will decide for you. So since you didn’t have an opinion about what you wanted to do, we are going to watch you eat tacs., Yay! Also we are having your least favorite food. How can you honestly expect anyone to take you seriously if you can’t even come up with an idea for what to do with your time? Especially when you have a group of 4+ people with you. You know you’re full of shit, and everybody else knows you’re full of shit now too.

You won’t admit that you’re full of shit
You know you’ve heard it before, maybe as a joke, maybe at a bar, “You’re full of shit!” Yup chances are you have, and you know what? They were right. Half the time you don’t even know what you’re talking about, let alone remember what you just said 2 minutes ago in a conversation. Your words just flow out like a song, a song swaying the poor, naive souls around you into trekking through you’re forest of shit. which will no doubt cover everybody that crosses through it, full of shit. But all hope is not lost! The first step to overcoming a problem is to first accept that you have a problem!

No doubt now with the help of this guide you too can overcome your full of shit lifestyle and finally evolve into a better, more human being.

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